Paroxysm Effect

hmm...I must commend you on this extraordinary work of poetry ;-) But seriously, it is quite good. I can't write limericks at all, so I'm jealous. I have unfortunately never ...

Wow...I'm not quite sure where to begin. My biggest issue with this poem is that it feels so much like it lacks a real point . I just feel like ...

I like the initial idea behind this all, but there are parts that could use some tweaking. The image of the music box is strong, and I would like to ...

I would really like to see this expanded--just when you get the tiniest glimpse of what is really at the core of the poem, it ends, and the reader is ...

I think that my biggest problem with this poem is that it doesn't drive home a real point/message/statement about your subject. It is an interesting observation, I suppose...but my question ...

You really do not need all of those line breaks. There are a few spots where they seem especially arbitrary: "She grasps my finger, like she will never let go." ...

At points in this poem, you do have some very strong imagery, but it's too perfect. It's too idyllic and like cadmium said, something needs to happen. Whoever this speaker ...

You have some very strong imagery here in this piece, but there were a few spots where I stumbled. My first issue is that I could use a bit more ...